69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
