I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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