i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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