I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
