I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize