remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
