Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
