so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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