this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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