if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
