We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
