I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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