I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
