Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
