after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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