where am i from again
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
