Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
