The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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