THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
