that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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