make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
