I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
