just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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