you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
that is very illegal...i love you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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