i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
