Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
