Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
