Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
