and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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