If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
