How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
