yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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