Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
