I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
