She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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