shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
