what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
