fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
