We're facebook friends in real life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize