i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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