Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
