please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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