Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize