that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize