You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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