I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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