Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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