ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize