I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
