Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize