My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
