So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
