Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize